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Fancy a late-in-life love life?
As we get older, we begin to lose those dear to us. It can be a devastating shame when a friend or family member passes, but potentially even worse if it is a partner. The loneliness which can follow the loss of a partner can be detrimental to our health, as well as our outlook. Fortunately, the modern age presents plenty of possibilities to start dating again for the over 60s. Finding the right person for us in this stage of life is very important, so here are some dos and do nots for dating over the age of 60.
Online dating is the modern way to meet.
The stigma that was once attached to online dating has fallen away in the UK. Nowadays, people of all ages and walks of life are finding dates, or even their soulmates, on dating sites. Choosing the right site for you is the first stop on your journey to finding the perfect partner.
There are plenty of sites which cater to specific groups, such as religion-specific sites like Christian Mingle
for committed Christians.
If you are concerned that you have been out of the game for too long, or that you find talking about yourself in this context a bit tricky or embarrassing, you may find that a site like My Single Friend
could be the best bet. My Single Friend is different because you get a friend, or even a family member, to write your profile for you. This can avoid any difficulties you might have with setting up your dating profile, and allow you to give a great account of yourself if you are prone to understatement. Do keep in mind that My Single Friend is not designed specifically for the over 60s, but do not let this put you off if it sounds right for you.
What to expect
The dating scene for the over sixties will vary quite a lot depending on if you are a man or a woman. In general, men find it easier to attract dates especially nowadays when Hollywood is pushing the idea of the sexy silver fox as a viable partner for women of various ages. However, women should not be too concerned about their options, a strong dating profile can see you reeling in the date offers.
Interestingly, many over sixties report that their experience of dating has not changed much from when they were young men or women. The excitement of meeting someone you like and hitting it off could have you waiting by the phone for their call just as you did when you were a teenager. The same extends for the other side of dating, dates can still be awkward and stilted as they were in your youth. Just because the situations may involve more dentures than unwanted erections, does not mean that the experience is all that different.
Since the experience of dating does not seem to change, nor should the general advice. The best thing to remember is that you should always be yourself, and be honest with your date and yourself about what you are looking for. Do not settle for someone who is not right for you because you are afraid that the alternative is loneliness, that will only cause problems down the line. Remember, just because someone you meet on a dating site may not looking for the same thing as you does not mean that they would not be a good friend. Finally, as always the sexiest thing for a man or woman is confidence. If you are confident with how you behave around your date, with how you look and feel, then they will pick up on your energy and enjoy themselves more with you.
There are perils, however......
It is sadly the case that online dating can be used as a way to take advantage of people. As is so often the case, the over 60 demographic is a prime target for scammers of all stripes, and some use the online dating scene to access potential victims.
Scammers attempt to appeal to a desire for love and companionship. While most people will think "I would never fall for that", these scammers do this as their job and it is one they can be very good at. Here are a few tips to help you avoid what can be a very costly (and heart-breaking) situation.
1. Look carefully at their profile picture.
Most often scammers will approach you, and this gives you a chance to examine them before responding. If the picture appears too good to be true, it probably is. Many scammers use readily available images of models in their profile pictures.
2. Email etiquette.
In general, scammers of the over sixties in the UK are from foreign countries - most commonly African ones. This means that they often find prolonged writing in English to be difficult, and so will attempt to get you on the phone as soon as possible. However, the opposite can also be true since some find it a lot easier to write good English in an email where they can take their time than to talk over the phone - especially if they are pretending to be white British and their accent could give them away.
3. Try to meet up early.
Scammers will do everything they can to avoid meeting up with you. Since they are based overseas it is impossible for them to prove any lies they may have told about being local. If you ask to meet up with them they will do everything they can to put this off. Common excuses involve being on business trips, and therefore being conveniently out of the country. Remember, even if they are genuine there is nothing wrong with saying that you would like to put your contact on hold until they are available to meet with you. For a real account this will be taken well and understood (you are all in the same boat after all), for scammers this will be a sign that you are not a good target and they will likely move on.
4. Watch out for inconsistencies.
Scammers are usually running the same scam on multiple people at once, potentially with many different accounts. Make sure you keep an eye on your conversations, if they include something that seems out of place then it is possible they have got you confused with another target. While genuine people do make mistakes, this can definitely be a warning sign that you are dealing with a scammer.
5. Do not give them money.
This may seem like a no-brainer, but it is worth mentioning. The endgame for all scammers is to take you for as much money as they can. If they start asking you for money, regardless of how small the amount may be, you are dealing with a scam. Most often they will ask for money for a supposed emergency, or so they can come to to see you. If this happens, extricate yourself from the situation and cease all contact. Never give money, or your personal banking details to anyone on a dating site.
Whilst this can all seem a bit imposing, as long as you are sensible the world of online dating can be a fun and exciting place. We wish you the best of luck in finding your perfect partner.
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